Issue #16

Redneck Ramblins

81 on Sunday and 28 on Monday. Gotta love Texas weather! Still better than anywhere up North, plus our cold will last just several days not for months.
A recent poll said that 63% of Americans want a playoff system to determine NCAA division 1 football champion. The other 37% must be bowl officials or not football fans.
I hear that congress is going to bailout Detroit. That’s a great thing. The Lions certainly need it.
Oprah 200 lbs. That’s all?
GM = general mess
Did you notice that the player with the most first place votes did not win the Heisman? He came in third.
Auburn hired Iowa State’s coach. Gene Chizik, 5-19 in two years at Iowa State, isn’t the answer if he cannot recruit in the SEC. He promptly dismissed all of Tuberville’s coaching staff when he arrived in Auburn for the first time Sunday afternoon. Chizik was Auburn’s defensive coordinator four years ago. Oh boy!!
Bush dodged two shoes thrown by an Iraqi reporter. Shoot, he has been dodging more than that from the Democrats for 8 years.

You Can’t Make This Stuff Up

ll. Gov Blagojevich arrested on corruption charges

Tue Dec 9, 2008 10:44am EST

CHICAGO (Reuters) – Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich was arrested on criminal charges on Tuesday, including trying to sell the U.S. Senate seat being vacated by fellow Democrat President-elect Barack Obama, federal prosecutors said.

Blagojevich was also accused of threatening to withhold substantial state assistance to the Tribune Company in connection with the sale of the Chicago Cubs’ baseball home Wrigley Field “to induce the firing of Chicago Tribune editorial board members sharply critical” of him.

The 51-year-old Blagojevich and his chief of staff, John Harris, were charged in a 76-page federal indictment with conspiracy to commit mail and wire fraud and solicitation of bribery. Both were taken into custody at their homes in Chicago.

In Illinois, the governor selects a successor when there is a mid-term Senate vacancy. Obama resigned from the Senate soon after winning the November 4 presidential election.

Blagojevich allegedly was caught on court-authorized wiretaps during the last month.

He was seeking a “substantial” salary for himself at a nonprofit foundation or union affiliated organization, a spot on a corporate board for his wife, promises of campaign cash, as well as a cabinet post or ambassadorship in exchange for his Senate choice, the FBI affidavit added.

Blagojevich, in his second term, is the latest in a string of Illinois governors to run afoul of the law. His immediate predecessor. George Ryan, is in jail following a federal corruption conviction.

“Many, including myself, thought that the recent conviction of a former governor would usher in a new era of honesty and reform in Illinois politics,” Robert D. Grant, Special Agent-in-Charge of the Chicago Office of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, said in a statement.

“Clearly, the charges announced today reveal that the office of the Governor has become nothing more than a vehicle for self-enrichment, unrestricted by party affiliation and taking Illinois politics to a new low.”

Grant and Patrick Fitzgerald, United States Attorney for the Northern District of Illinois, will detail the charges in a news conference at 11 a.m. CDT (1700 GMT) in Chicago.

(Reporting by Michael Conlon and James Vicini, Kyle Peterson and Karen Pierog in Chicago, Editing by Jackie Frank)

Another gummit official serving himself above the people………………..Wonder how much Obama’s senate seat costs him?

Redneck Joke of the Week

Baptizing A Drunk Redneck
(Get out your Christian sense of humor)

A redneck is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptizing people in the river. The drunk redneck walks into the water and bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of booze. Whereupon he asks the redneck, ‘Are you ready to find Jesus ?’

‘Yes I am’ replies the drunk, so the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the river. He pulls him up and asks the redneck, ‘Brother have you found Jesus ?’

The drunk replies, ‘No, I haven’t.’ The preacher, shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again, but for a bit longer this time. He pulls him out of the water and asks again, ‘Have you found Jesus , my brother?’

The drunk redneck again answers, ‘No, I have not found Jesus .’
By this time the preacher is at his wits end so he dunks the drunk in the water again, but this time he holds him down for about 30 seconds.

When the drunk redneck begins kicking his arms and legs, the preacher pulls him up. The preacher asks the drunk again, ‘For the love of God, have you found Jesus ?’

The drunk redneck wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher,

‘Are you sure this is where he fell in?’

Redneck Picture of the Week

Racin’

Ain’t True

Hospital seeks dead man’s consent
MANCHESTER, England (UPI) — A woman said bosses at a Manchester, England, hospital asked that her deceased father sign a consent form before his death could be investigated.

Sally Guidon said she wrote to North Manchester General Hospital officials after the death of her father, James Johnson, 76, listing a series of complaints and asking for hospital staff to investigate the death, The Daily Mail reported Thursday.

However, Guidon said hospital bosses responded with a letter saying they needed Johnson to give written approval before his file could be opened.

“I cried for about an hour and a half when I got the letter,” Guidon said. “It was the final insult, I don’t know why I was surprised by it after seeing the way they cared for Dad — it is typical of them to make such a basic error.”

Hospital administrators said they apologized for the letter, which they blamed on an administrative error, and said the case will be investigated once Guidon’s mother, who was listed as her husband’s next of kin, gives permission to open the file.

Ain’t true that common sense has showed up missing only in America………….

Redneck Song of the Week:

Christmas in Dixie – Alabama

Redneck Video of the Week:

Honky Tonk Christmas

Redneck Education Tip of the Week:

Miss Sally Edwards is a highly esteemed third grade teacher at Jacksboro Elementary. In an effort to prepare her students for the all-important TAKS test, she compiled an exam consisting of 20 questions, which she administered to her class last Tuesday.
The exam purposely covered a broad array of topics.

I call your attention to question # 11, which simply read:

LIST, IN ANY ORDER, THE FOUR SEASONS:
1. ________ 2. ________ 3.________ 4. ________

Now, could you possibly imagine that 67% of the students gave the following answer?

1. DOVE SEASON 2. DEER SEASON
3. DUCK SEASON 4. TURKEY SEASON