Issue 32
Redneck Ramblins
1. Anybody check to see if Bo paid his income taxes before he became first dog?
2. Sounds like Mel Gibson needs a bailout!
3. I am not a fan of beauty pageants at all, but I am really proud that Miss California responded to the question of gay marriages with her true opinion and not just the PC answer. You go girl! You won even if you didn’t get the crown.
4. The politicians just didn’t get the Tea Party deal. The only ones that took interest were the ones that wanted the publicity and the rest blamed them on Fox News. Folks, people are upset with the gummit spending whether they be Republicans or Democrats. Congress had better wake the heck up!!
5. Have you noticed that those that preach tolerance of others’ opinions are not tolerant of others’ beliefs?
6. Too bad it took bad economic times for some people to figure out the difference between want and need.
7. Mrs. Redneck says that I need to do something aerobic so I have taken up aerobic napping.
8. Anybody impressed with Obama’s demand for $100 million cut in fed spending? To me it was a lot of show and not enough dough.
9. Sure wish the gummit would report the rise in unemployment for the folks over 50. Think everyone would be shocked!
10. There is more to life than having it all.
You Can’t Make This Stuff Up
Minn. surgeon needs two tries to remove appendix
Apr 22, 9:27 PM (ET)
SHAKOPEE, Minn. (AP) – A state investigative report said a surgeon performed an appendectomy on the same patient twice after he mistakenly removed a piece of fatty tissue instead the first time. The Star Tribune reported that the surgeon realized his mistake two days after the first operation after a hospital pathologist reported what was removed was “not an appendix.”
The patient had been complaining of pain and fever and was ordered back for a second surgery.
The by now ruptured appendix was removed, after which the unidentified patient spent 11 days in the hospital with complications from the second surgery.
The Health Department found no evidence the hospital did anything wrong. Complaints against doctors are handled by a separate state agency. The Board of Medical Practice isn’t commenting on the case.
That’s why doctors call it a practice!
Redneck Joke of the Week
This joke was nominated for best joke of the year:
A Russian arrives in New York City as a new immigrant to the United States. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, “Thank you Mr. American for letting me into this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and a free education!”
The passerby says, “You are mistaken, I am a Mexican.”
The man goes on and encounters another passerby. “Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America.”
The person says, “I not American, I Vietnamese.”
The new arrival walks farther, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand, and says, “Thank you for wonderful America!”
That person puts up his hand and says, “I am from Middle East. I am not American.”
He finally sees a nice lady and asks, “Are you an American?”
She says, “No, I am from Africa.”
Puzzled, he asks her, “Where are all the Americans?”
The African lady checks her watch and says, “Probably at work.”
Redneck Picture of the Week
FREE GRILL!!!!!
As every Southerner knows, come spring, it will be time to get ready for that all-important cooking technique of the south — outdoor grilling!
I have just found out there are many stores (not just in the South) that give away a FREE Bar-B-Q grill! In these tough times, free, useful items are very welcome. You can get a free BBQ grill from any of the following stores:
A&P
Albertsons
Costco
Dan’s
Food Lion
Fry’s
Home Depot
Big Lots
Brookshire’s
Lowes
Publix
Safeway
Sam’s Club
Tesco
Target
Vons
Trader Joe’s
Wal-Mart
Winn-Dixie
I especially like the higher rack — which can be used for keeping things warm!
Just make sure to get a metal one… the plastic ones don’t do so well.
Racin’
Great to see “Crazy Old Man” Martin win last week at Phoenix. He certainly deserves all the respect that he got for that one.
Now it is on to Talladega for some unrestricted partying and oh yeah, they have a restrictor plate race there too! Hope yore favorite driver don’t get caught up in the big one.
Picks of the week:
- Tony Stewart
- Kyle “Punk Face” Busch
- Jeff Gordon
Ain’t True
Russian surgeons have claimed to have found a two-inch fir tree growing inside a man’s lung.
Last Updated: 4:36PM BST 14 Apr 2009
The amazing ‘discovery’ was apparently made when they opened up Artyom Sidorkin, 28, to remove what they thought was a serious tumour.
Mr Sidorkin had complained of extreme pain in his chest and had been coughing up blood. Doctors were convinced he had cancer.
“We were 100 per cent sure,” said Vladimir Kamashev, a surgeon in Izhevsk in the Urals. “We did X-rays and found what looked exactly like a tumour.
“I had seen hundreds before, so we decided on surgery.”
Before removing part of the man’s lung, the surgeon investigated the tissue.
“I thought I was hallucinating,” said Mr Kamashev. “I asked my assistant to have a look: ‘Come and see this – we’ve got a fir tree here’. He nodded in shock. I blinked three times as I was sure I was seeing things.”
Medical staff said that Mr Sidorkin must have inhaled a seed, which later sprouted into a small fir tree inside his lung.
The spruce, which was said to be touching the man’s capillaries and causing severe pain, was removed.
“It was very painful. But to be honest I did not feel any foreign object inside me,” said Mr Sidorkin. “I’m so relieved it’s not cancer.”
There was no independent verification of the surgeon’s claims.
Ain’t true that fresh air is always good for you!
Redneck Song of the Week:
Sweet Home Alabama – Lynyrd Skynyrd
The unofficial theme song of Talledega racin’
Redneck Video of the Week:
Shotgun Golf
Redneck Education Tip of the Week:
Redneck Revolution
Redneck Rebel Quote of the Week:
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
Dave Barry
