Issue 35
Redneck Ramblins
1. AIG is still “toxic” after $ 180 billion in bailouts? Something smells about that!
2. Donald Trump must be hard up for help if Joan Rivers is new apprentice..
3. The NBA series with Dallas and Denver was nothing but a display of thugs – including Mark Cuban.
4. Quincy Carter arrested again. I think he has more TA’s than TD’s. TA = total arrests.
5. Don’t know about y’all, but I want a pilot that makes more than $ 16,000 per year when I fly.
6. Pelosi says that the CIA misled her on waterboarding. She says that she wasn’t briefed even when records show that she was. Who is misleading who?
7. Now she wants a “Truth Commission”. Who is going to sit on it? Everyone on the hill is a liar!! Not real sure they know truth if they saw it.
8. $ 7 trillion deficit. That’s 12 zeroes….. $ 7,000,000,000,000!
9. Time to get real leaders in office and ditch the politicians.
10. Have we forgotten the Swine Flu already? After non-stop media coverage for several weeks, you don’t even hear about it anymore.
11. Pray for the troops!
You Can’t Make This Stuff Up
Oops, Wrong Address: Stolen Phones Sent to FBI
Saturday, May 09, 2009
MONROE, La. - If you’re going to buy something with a forged cashier’s check, don’t misspell “cashier’s” or use an FBI office as your shipping address.
Police in Monroe, La., say they arrested a 44-year-old man from Memphis, Tenn., after he did both.
He was held Friday on two counts of forgery and as a fugitive from justice in Georgia, where he is accused of a similar scheme.
The FBI called police Thursday after a Minnesota cell phone distributor called the bureau.
The company had sent 50 phones to the address for the FBI office Monroe, only to discover its $2,359.45 payment was a “cahier’s check.”
FBI agents saw the suspect wave down a delivery truck driver outside the bureau later Thursday, stopped the transaction and waited for police.
Redneck Joke of the Week
Archeology Find
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion, that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.
Not to be out-done by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, in California an archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, headlines in the LA Times newspaper read: ‘California archaeologists have found traces of 200 year old copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers. ’
One week later, a local newspaper in Texas, reported the following: after digging as deep as 30 feet in his 2000 acre pasture near Cut-n-Shoot, Montgomery County, Texas, Bubba Rathbone, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Texas had already gone wireless.
Thank God for Bubba.
Us TEXANS are an intelligent bunch……
Redneck Picture of the Week
From a Retired Chemist
I’ve often been asked, ‘What do you old folks do now that you’re retired?’ Well…I’m fortunate to have a chemistry degree, and one of the t hings I enjoy most is turning beer, Wine, Scotch, and Margaritas into urine.
And I’m pretty damn good at it, too!!
Racin’
“Crazy Old Man” Martin did it again in the Southern 500 at Darlington.
This week is All-Star Week in Charlotte. I’m saying the Crazy Old Man does it again in the All-Star Race.
Ain’t True
Who says that you can’t make a grocery run on a motorcycle? Ain’t true. Lookie here:
Redneck Song of the Week:
“My List” – Toby Keith
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPqp8z2zLHw&feature=channel
Redneck Video of the Week:
Very Effective Exercise Program
http://www.z24540.us/SweatinWithTheSocialists.html
Redneck Education Tip of the Week:
Kudzu
Redneck Rebel Quote of the Week:
There ain’t no free lunches in this country. And don’t go spending your whole life commiserating that you got raw deals. You’ve got to say, ‘I think that if I keep working at this and want it bad enough I can have it.
Lee Iacocca
US automobile businessman (1924 – )
