Issue 37

Redneck Ramblins

I am all ready for national healthcare if Congress is under it too. Same goes for social security and medicare.
Somehow we have allowed our elected officials to forget that they were elected by the people to serve the same people.
It has been almost 4 years since the storm in New Orleans and we are still hearing about how disadvantaged and mistreated the citizens are there. It has been less than a year since Ike devastated Galveston and we have heard nothing. Come to think of it, Katrina and Rita devastated more than just New Orleans – East Texas, most of Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama. Haven’t heard a word from those fine folks cause they are too busy rebuilding and getting their lives back together. Could be that the multi-generational welfare city of New Orleans will never be happy.
Time for another “Contract with America”.
Bubba says he’s ready to secede again.
Joe Biden’s mouth is the best personal protection for the President.
Has Sotomayor paid her taxes? Lots of Obama’s other appointees didn’t.
I don’t like that Sotomayor has been rebuffed by the Supreme Court six times – five times her decisions were reversed and the other they disagreed with her reasoning in her decision. Seems she has a problem understanding that her job is to interpret the laws not use her bias to further her agenda.
It is time for a solid third party in America. We could even call it the American Party. Maybe it would stop the partisan deadlock we have in government today.
Both current parties can be defined as dysfunctional.
If you are reading this today, thank a teacher. If you are reading this in English, thank a soldier.

You Can’t Make This Stuff Up

Australian doctor uses household drill to save boy

Wed May 20, 8:44 am ET

MELBOURNE, Australia – A doctor in rural Australia used a handyman’s power drill to bore a hole into the skull of a boy with a severe head injury, saving his life.

Nicholas Rossi fell off his bike on Friday in the small Victoria state city of Maryborough, hitting his head on the pavement, his father, Michael, said Wednesday. By the time Rossi got to the hospital, he was slipping in and out of consciousness.

The doctor on duty, Rob Carson, quickly recognized the boy was experiencing potentially fatal bleeding on the brain and knew he had only minutes to make a hole in the boy’s skull to relieve the pressure.

But the small hospital was not equipped with neurological drills – so Carson sent for a household drill from the maintenance room.

“Dr. Carson came over to us and said, ‘I am going to have to drill into (Nicholas) to relieve the pressure on the brain – we’ve got one shot at this and one shot only,’” Michael Rossi told The Australian newspaper.

Carson called a neurosurgeon in the state capital of Melbourne for help, who talked Carson through the procedure – which he had never before attempted – by telling him where to aim the drill and how deep to go.

“All of a sudden the emergency ward was turned into an operating theater,” Michael Rossi told Fairfax Radio on Wednesday. “We didn’t see anything, but we heard the noises, heard the drill. It was just one of those surreal experiences.”

The procedure took just over a minute, said anesthetist Dr. David Tynan, who assisted Carson.

“It was pretty scary. You obviously worry, (are) you pushing hard enough or pushing too hard, but then when some blood came out after we’d gone through the skull, we realized we’d made the right decision,” Tynan told Australian Broadcasting Corp.

Rossi was airlifted to a larger hospital in Melbourne and released Tuesday – his 13th birthday.

Carson was modest about his feat.

“It is not a personal achievement, it is just a part of the job and I had a very good team of people helping me,” he told The Australian.

Michael Rossi was more effusive.

“He saved our son’s life,” he said.

Carson did not immediately respond to messages left Wednesday by The Associated Press. The hospital said he was busy delivering a baby.

See Mrs. Redneck all of them tools in the garage is for life saving emergencies!

Redneck Joke of the Week

Louisiana Tourist Attraction

Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town.

They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the employee, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are… very slowly?”

The guy leaned over the counter and said, “Burrrrrr-gerrrrr Kiiinnnggg.”

Redneck Picture of the Week

Youre Gonna Die

Racin’

Had a great trip with Redneck Tim Bob to Indy last weekend. It was hard to tell that this great nation was in a deep recession with all the racin’ folks there. It was packed.

Mother Nature decided to interrupt the Coke 600 schedule and delayed the race to Monday. What a stirring tribute to our fallen veterans when they stopped the race at 3:00 pm for 30 seconds of absolute silence. Wow!! Made you proud to be an American.

Now it is off to the concrete monster of Dover. This week’s picks:

Mark “The Kid” Martin
“Concrete: Carl Edwards
Greg Biffle

Ain’t True

This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It is reported to have been listed in the Atlanta Journal.

SINGLE WHITE FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I’m a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I’ll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Call (404) 875-6723 and ask for Daisy, I’ll be waiting….

Too good to be totally true. The phone number is for the Humane Society.

Redneck Song of the Week:

“My List” – Toby Keith

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPqp8z2zLHw

Redneck Video of the Week:

Great Smoky Mountain DVD Video

(hint: click on the red HQ (high quality) button

Redneck Education Tip of the Week:

Redneck Medical Advice

If you are bothered by occasional or frequent constipation, look in the mirror and repeat the following phrase three times in succession when symptoms occur:

“My financial and personal well being are totally in the hands of Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Tim Geithner, Rahm Emmanual, Barney Frank, Chris Dodd, and Al Gore”

If that doesn’t scare the poop out of you, then you are probably destined to be backed up the rest of your life.

There is no need to thank me for this advice. I’m just doing a public service.