Issue 66

Redneck Ramblins

Gee, I didn’t get an invite to the Obama’s Christmas party.
Tiger Woods is making John Daly look like an angel.
“The Biggest Loser” was just announced –Tiger Woods.
Takes two to cheat and neither is blameless.
Bubba said that he is all for Cap and Trade. He wants to cap federal spending and trade the bozos in Washington for some real public servants.
Mrs. Redneck and I went window shopping the other day and we bought some.
No wonder Accenture terminated their marketing agreement with “Cheetah” Woods since their slogan was “Be a Tiger!”. What about Nike’s “Just Do It”?
The whole Tiger drama is getting in the way of important stuff. Congress has gotta love it that the attention is being diverted off of them.
Congratulations to Mark Ingram, Alabama’s first Heisman Trophy winner.
Pray for the troops during this CHRISTmas season.

You Can’t Make This Stuff Up

What Can Brown Do To You

CAPE CORAL, Fla., Dec. 11 (UPI) — Authorities in Florida said a former UPS driver allegedly stole 350 items sent via the shipping service and sold them on eBay.

Documents released by the state attorney’s office revealed Craig Podleski, 38, of Cape Coral, Fla., is accused of stealing $250,000 worth of items he was supposed to deliver during the course of several years and selling the items under eBay username Bulldoglover4life, the Fort Myers (Fla.) News-Press reported Friday.

He could face up to 30 years in prison if convicted.

Podleski’s wife, Cheryl Podleski, 43, was charged with helping her husband sell the stolen items. She could face a maximum prison sentence of five years.

Authorities said numerous stolen items were found at the couple’s home, including firearms, jewelry and electronics. Investigators said they have not yet determined the amount of money Podleski allegedly made from selling the stolen goods on eBay, other auction sites and garage sales.

Headlines

Why has Paris Hilton disappeared?

That’s a bad thing?

Gibbs slams Gallup poll showing record low approval for Obama

They are trying to kill the messenger. The truth hurts.

Coffee, Exercise Fight Prostate Cancer

Can I just drink more coffee and forget the exercise?

98-year-old woman charged with killing 100-year-old roommate

I wonder if they will give her a life sentence.

Redneck Joke of the Week

Bubba’s Thoughts on Exercise

It is well documented that for every mile that you jog, you add one minute to your life. This enables you to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at the age of 85 for $ 5,000 per month.

My grandmother started walking 5 miles a day when she was 60. She’s 95 now and we have no idea where she is.

I don’t jog since it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

If God meant for us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up on our body.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people that annoy me.

I joined a health club last year and so far have spent $ 400. I haven’t lost a pound. Evidently you have to show up.

If you are going to try cross country skiing, pick a very small country.

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

The only reason that I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I have to exercise early, early in the morning before my brain figures out what the heck I’m doing.

Redneck Picture of the Week

Redneck Christmas Tree Stand

Ain’t True

Pa. Police: Girl, 13, Led High-Speed Car Chase

LEBANON, Pa. (AP) ?

State police in central Pennsylvania say a 13-year-old girl led troopers on a high-speed chase that reached speeds of more than 100 mph.

Authorities say the pursuit started around 9:30 a.m. Monday when troopers observed a driver weaving in and out of her lane on Interstate 81 in Swatara Township.

Police say the driver wouldn’t stop when they tried to pull her over. The high-speed pursuit continued for nine miles onto Interstate 78.

They say she finally stopped the 1994 Pontiac Grand Am on the Fredericksburg off-ramp of I-78.

Troopers say the girl was taken into custody and charged with several violations. Her name was not released, and police could not immediately offer more details of the case.

Ain’t true that she was speeding. She was just trying to be like Danika.

Redneck Song of the Week:

Christmas with a Capital C

Redneck Video of the Week:

Loop-D-Loop

Redneck Education Tip of the Week:

How to Fix the Political Mess in Congress

The entire Congress of the United States is corrupt – both houses and both political parties. There may be a few members of each house that are good, ethical, and trustworthy, but as a whole they are the most corrupt group to ever disgrace our great Nation.

The citizens have no one to blame but ourselves. We have elected them and have not held them accountable.

Here are some ideas for US to fix the situation in a rational and peaceful manner:

1. Vote all the bums out of office

In November 2010 all seats in the House of Representatives will stand for re-election – all 435 of them. In the Senate, one third will also stand for re-election. Vote every incumbent out of office.

In November 2012 do the same for the next third of the Senators and in November 2014 vote out the remaining third.

In just 4 years, we can replace every one of these corrupt politicians.

2. Term Limits

Establish term limits at 8 years for the House Representatives and 12 years for Senators.

3. 28^th Amendment

“Congress shall make no law that applies to citizens of the United States of America that does not apply equally to the Senators and/or Representative, and Congress shall make no law that applies to the Senators and/or Representatives that does not apply equally to the citizens of the United States of America.”

Some say that it would be very dangerous to replace our current Congress with people that have no experience in how to govern a country. I state that it is more dangerous to entrust our great Nation to those that have been bought and paid for by the lobbyist and other special interest.

It is past time that the citizens of this country take the initiative to do our civic duty!

Correction: Found out that the story on the Origin of Taps in Issue 64 was not true. It has been removed from the post. Sorry for the misinformation!