Issue 70
Redneck Ramblins
- Only in Alabama can you go see the Championship trophy at Wal-Mart. Latest report is that the $30,000 trophy’s price has now been rolled back to $ 88.87.
- Reid says he apologized for his “poor word choices” and Obama accepted. Wow. If a conservative had said what Reid said, there would have been a hanging.
- I think sixty senators had poor word choices. They said yes, when they shoulda said no.
- I had a dog in the fight and he won, but I still don’t like the BcS.
- Only thing a prevent offense or prevent defense does is prevent you from winning. Dang near happened to Bama the other night.
- Gotta give it to Texas. They never quit.
- Bubba was watching that Miller Lite commercial the other night where the girlfriend makes the guy decide between her and his dog. So he did a ‘speriment. Bubba locked his dog and his wife in the trunk of the car for an hour to see which one would be the most glad to see him. Doc says that the swelling should go down in a couple of days to allow him to see again –outta one eye anyways.
- Billions and billions in stimulus and still no jobs?
- Pray for our troops.
You Can’t Make This Stuff Up
Headlines
Children who are spanked are more successful later in life
Well at least our redneck kids will be very successful.
Obama ends Hawaiian vacation by visiting the zoo
Just getting ready to reacclimatize to DC
Pelosi tells C-SPAN: ‘There has never been a more open process’
Maybe never been more open to her
Naked jogger nabbed near White House
Too much transparency near the White House that has none.
Redneck Joke of the Week
DEER CAMP
Four guys have been going to the same deer camp for many years.
Two days before the group is to leave, Frank’s wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn’t going.
Frank’s friends are very upset that he can’t go, but what can they do.
Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Frank sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the fire.
“Damn man, how long you been here, and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?”
“Well, I’ve been here since yesterday.
Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair and my wife came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, ‘Guess who?’”
I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new see through nightie.
She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose pedals all over.
On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did.
And then she said, “Do what ever you want.”
So, Here I am.
Redneck Picture of the Week
Dual Air Bags
Racin’
Only a little more than a month to go until the Daytona 500.
Ain’t True
Man Ties Record for Largest Largemouth
A man was being credited with tying the 77-year-old world record for catching the biggest largemouth bass. The International Game Fish Association announced Friday that it had confirmed the 22-pound, 4-ounce fish caught by Manabu Kurita. The Florida-based group said Kurita caught the fish July 2 on Lake Biwa, Japan’s largest lake.
Kurita’s fish tied the record of George Perry, who caught his bass on Georgia’s Montgomery Lake on June 2, 1932.
Kurita used 25-pound test line and a live blue gill as bait.
Ain’t true. The largest largemouth is Pelosi.
Redneck Song of the Week:
Yea Alabama – Million Dollar Band
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Redneck Video of the Week:
Redneck Water Skiing
Redneck Education Tip of the Week:
Southern Flight Control
Atlanta Tower: “Saudi Air 511 — You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R.”
Atlanta Tower: “Iran Air 711 –You are cleared to land westbound on runway 9L.”
Iran Air: “Thank you Atlanta ATC. We are cleared to land on infidel’s runway 9L. -Allah is Great.”
Saudi Air: ATLANTA TOWER- ATLANTA TOWER !”
Atlanta Tower: “Go ahead Saudi Air 511.”
Football Pickins:
Louie’s Losers
I know what the dead of winter means – no more college football and no racin’. It’s dead.
