Issue 76

Redneck Ramblins

Haiti must be all better. Haven’t seen anything on the news or in the papers in almost a week. Only thing that matters now is the Winter Olympics and Tiger.
Same goes with the Swine Flu that was gonna kill everybody.
When the going gets tough, the tough take a nap.
Dang gummit says that the stimulus created 2.1 million jobs. Really? Must be gummit jobs or jobs overseas. They ain’t here in the private sector.
If Congress doesn’t want term limits, then we should limit their terms by voting the bums out!
Why are all the robo political calls screaming their message?
Politicians should be covered under the Do Not Call List.
Since Tony Kornheiser has been suspended from ESPN for a couple of weeks, I might even watch the show. What a jerk!
Had another snow emergency in the DFW area this week. It snowed and almost stuck to the ground. Total panic on the airwaves……..
Pray for the troops that keep you free.

You Can’t Make This Stuff Up

PINE LAWN, Mo. — A suburban St. Louis woman has been arrested after police said she shot at her husband when he refused to give her some of their tax return money. Pine Lawn police said the unidentified woman was being held on a $75,000 cash-only bond on suspicion of first-degree assault and armed criminal action. It was not immediately known whether she had an attorney.

Police said she followed her husband to work Saturday morning at a barber shop and fired when he refused to turn over any money. The bullets missed the husband.

Investigators said the woman then went to St. Louis and threw the gun in a sewer. She turned herself in after police contacted her.

Pine Lawn Assistant Police Chief Daniel O’Conner said the woman felt “more than justified” about the shooting.

Glad me and Mrs. Redneck gotta pay this year.

Headlines

Wal-Mart — first quarterly sales drop at U.S. stores

My “Don’t Shop at Wal-Mart” campaign is working!

McCain: I was mislead on bailouts……

So were we!

Don’t knock naps, they make you smarter

Sure wish I had taken more in the early years, but I’m getting smarter now.

10% Say Congress is Doing a Good Job

Must be them and their family and friends. 71% say that they are doing a poor job.

Redneck Joke of the Week

There was a Scottish painter named Smokey Macgregor who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further.

As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the Baptist Church decided to do a big restoration job on the outside of one of their biggest buildings..

Smokey put in a bid, and, because his price was so low, he got the job.

So he set about erecting the scaffolding and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and, yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with turpentine..

Well, Smokey was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, the sky opened, and the rain poured down washing the thinned paint from all over the church and knocking Smokey clear off the scaffold to land on the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless paint.

Smokey was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty,
so he got down on his knees and cried:

“Oh, God, Oh God, forgive me; what should I do?”

And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke………..

(you’re going to love this)

“Repaint! Repaint!
And thin no more!”

Redneck Picture of the Week

Never Tick Off a Woman Who Can Drive a Backhoe

backhoe woman

Racin’

I would rather be lucky than good, but Jimmie Johnson was both last week in winning California.

This week it is Vegas!

The picks:

Kyle “Hometown Boy” Busch
Kurt “Hometown Brother” Busch
Greg Biffle

Ain’t True

Groom arrested twice on wedding night

LEWISTON, Idaho – A marriage got off to a rocky start after the 21-year-old groom from northern Idaho was arrested twice on his wedding night and charged with assaulting his new wife in nearby eastern Washington.

Court records show the suspect was charged Tuesday in Asotin County Superior Court with second-degree assault and interfering with a report of domestic violence.

The Nez Perce County Sheriff’s Office in Idaho said the man was married Sunday and later arrested for drunken and disorderly conduct in Lewiston.

Police said that after the suspect was released on bail, he assaulted his new wife at a home in nearby Clarkston, Wash. The bride told authorities she was slapped and choked during the altercation, the Lewiston Tribune reported.

The man was scheduled to be arraigned March 1.

Ain’t true that this marriage is gonna last long.

Redneck Song of the Week:

Backwoods – Justin Moore

Redneck Video of the Week:

Toyota Lawnmower Recall

Redneck Education Tip of the Week:

This is about as clear and easy to understand as it can be – read it!!

The article below is completely neutral, .not anti republican or democrat.

Charlie Reese, a retired reporter for the Orlando Sentinel has hit the nail

directly on the head, defining clearly who it is that in the final analysis must

assume responsibility for the judgments made that impact each one of us every day.

It’s a short but good read. Worth the time. Worth remembering!

545 PEOPLE–By Charlie Reese

Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them..

Have you ever wondered, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, WHY do we have deficits?

Have you ever wondered, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, WHY do we have inflation and high taxes?

You and I don’t propose a federal budget. The president does.

You and I don’t have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of Representatives does.

You and I don’t write the tax code, Congress does.

You and I don’t set fiscal policy, Congress does.

You and I don’t control monetary policy, the Federal Reserve Bank does.

One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president, and nine Supreme Court justices equates to 545 human beings out of the 300 million are directly, legally, morally, and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.

I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem was created by the Congress. In 1913, Congress delegated its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered, but private, central bank.

I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason. They have no legal authority. They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman, or a president to do one cotton-picking thing. I don’t care if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash. The politician has the power to accept or reject it. No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator’s responsibility to determine how he votes.

Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of party.

What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall. No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits….. The president can only propose a budget. He cannot force the Congress to accept it.

The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes. Who is the speaker of the House? Nancy Pelosi. She is the leader of the majority party. She and fellow House members, not the president, can approve any budget they want. If the president vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto if they agree to.

It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million can not replace 545 people who stand convicted — by present facts — of incompetence and irresponsibility. I can’t think of a single domestic problem that is not traceable directly to those 545 people. When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.

If the tax code is unfair, it’s because they want it unfair.

If the budget is in the red, it’s because they want it in the red

If the Army & Marines are in IRAQ, it’s because they want them in IRAQ

If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it’s because they want it that way.

There are no insoluble government problems.

Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power. Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like “the economy,” “inflation,” or “politics” that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do.

Those 545 people and they alone, are responsible.

They, and they alone, have the power..

They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses.

Provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees…

We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess!

- Charlie Reese is a former columnist of the Orlando Sentinel Newspaper and journalist for 45 years.