Issue 77

Redneck Ramblins

Toyota has apologized. Now they need to go directly to rehab like everybody else that has gotten into trouble.
Pitchers and catchers report – Spring cannot be far behind!
It will now be referred to as sense. Common has left the building.
Since “bi-partisan” doesn’t seem to be working, how about trying “non-partisan”?
It doesn’t matter what you make. It’s the difference that you make that matters.
Have you heard of any federal gummit layoffs, job cuts, or budget cuts? Every other government — city, county, and state — has.
The IOC stunned the world this morning when they awarded U.S. President Barack Obama a gold medal for Men’s Skiing. Even though he’s never skied before. IOC spokesman said “Barack Obama is going downhill faster than anyone this year.”
At least the kids of the air traffic controller at JFK that talked to the pilots on the ATC frequency didn’t do it a real busy airport or congested air space or something. Gee………
Pray for the troops y’all.

You Can’t Make This Stuff Up

EL PASO, Texas — A mad emu gave deputies a Texas-sized hard time. El Paso authorities say the big bird was running loose Tuesday, snarling rush-hour traffic near Interstate 10 and attacking deputies trying to restrain it. Deputies with the El Paso County Sheriff’s Office tried to prevent the tall, flightless bird from running into traffic. But when deputies neared the emu, it became aggressive and slashed one deputy’s pant leg. The deputy was not seriously injured.

The emu died as it was being transported to an animal control shelter. The cause of death was not immediately known.

A different kind of road rage.

Headlines

Leno Crushes Letterman in Return

Gosh, I would have watched if I’d known he was gonna do that. What did he do, sit on him?

Senate passes $10 billion bill

Wow! They had an off day. They normally spend way more than that. Or is that the denomination of the bill will be carrying soon due to inflation?

Pilot with fake license arrested at Amsterdam airport…

Maybe he can talk to the kid air traffic controllers at JFK and just have a big crash.

Tiger tortured during Atlanta circus visit

I know people are upset with Mr. Woods, but torture?

Jon Gosselin not happy Kate is on ‘Dancing’

He is not the only one.

Redneck Joke of the Week

One hot summer day, the little boy’s granny asked him to go fetch some

drinking water so she could start supper. “Come on back now,” she told

him. “And don’t go swimming.” The little boy went obediently down to

the spring, but once there, the water looked so inviting he rolled up his

britches legs and waded in up to his knees, reasoning that he wasn’t

swimming, exactly. He hadn’t splashed around long, however, before he

remembered his errand. Reaching up on the bank for his pail, the boy

was just about to dip it in the water when he saw a mean looking pair

of beady eyes rise up out of the spring and stare at him. Frightened half

to death, the child dropped the pail, climbed out of the water, and ran

all the way back to the house, skidding to a halt at his granny’s feet

at the clothesline. His granny eyed his wet clothes and empty hands.

“Where’s my water, son? Better yet, where’s the bucket?”

“I couldn’t get you no water,” the child said, huffing and puffing and

trying to catch his breath. “There’s a big ol’ alligator in that spring.”

His granny snorted. “Aw, son, that old alligator has been living down

there as long as I’ve been up here. He’s probably just as scared of

you as you are of him.”

After briefly considered that idea the young boy said, “Granny, if he’s

as scared of me as I am of him that water ain’t fit to drink anyway!”

Redneck Picture of the Week

There is all kinds of architecture – Doric, Ionic and then there is Moronic!

mornic architecture

Racin’

The trip out west turned out good for Jimmie Johnson – winning at California and at Vegas. Now it is to the fast Hotlanta track.

Picks:

Jimmie Johnson
Kevin Harvick
Clint Bowyer

Ain’t True

KALISPELL, Mont. — A cargo plane door opened in flight over Montana and likely turned two bags into air mail. Crews are searching the Bob Marshall Wilderness Complex for the two priority mail bags that might have fallen out of the plane last weekend.

Alpine Air reported that a cargo hatch on the twin-engine turboprop opened during the flight between Billings and Kalispell and the pilot was unable to close it. The plane carried about 3,000 pounds of mail.

Postal workers aren’t sure any mail is missing, but if any is, they say it’s likely two bags, or about 25 packages.

Weather hampered the search on Thursday for the bright orange mail bags.

Kalispell customers who believe they’re missing priority mail packages are asked to call the Kalispell Post Office.

Ain;t true that the mail wasn’t delivered. It was just to the wrong address.

Redneck Song of the Week:

Jack Ingram – Barefoot And Crazy

Redneck Video of the Week:

The Census Is Getting Personal

Redneck Education Tip of the Week:

The Washington Post babbled again today about Obama inheriting a huge deficit from Bush, blah blah blah. Amazingly enough, a lot of people swallow this nonsense.

So once more, I’ll try a short civics lesson.

Budgets do not get approved by the White House. They are passed only by CONGRESS and the party that controlled Congress since January 2007 is the Democratic Party. They controlled the budget process for FY 2008 and FY 2009, as well as FY 2010 and FY 2011. In that first year, they had to contend with George Bush, which caused them to compromise on spending, when Bush somewhat belatedly got tough on spending increases. For FY 2009, though, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid bypassed George Bush entirely, passing continuing resolutions to keep government running until Barack Obama could take office. At that time, they passed a massive omnibus spending bill to complete the FY 2009 budgets.

And where was Barack Obama during this time? He was a member of that very Congress that passed all of these massive spending bills, and he signed the omnibus bill as President to complete FY 2009.

Let’s remember what the deficits looked like during that period:

deficit

If the Democrats inherited any deficit, it was the FY 2007 deficit, the last of the Republican budgets. That deficit was the lowest in five years, and the fourth straight decline in deficit spending. After that, Democrats in Congress took control of spending, and that includes Barack Obama, who voted for those budgets. If Obama inherited anything, he inherited it from himself.

In a nutshell, what Obama is saying is I inherited a deficit that I voted for and then I voted to expand that deficit four-fold since January 20^th, 2009.