Issue 79

Redneck Ramblins

• It’s bracketball time also known as March Madness!
• Looks like the NCAA used the BCS system to figure out who was in the tournament and what their seeds were.
• A report says that the Census Bureau is already over budget for the 2010 Census. Well they could have saved a bunch if they hadn’t mailed the notice that they were going to send the census form the next week. That was useless.
• Tiger is coming back to golf at the Masters. The media is going to make this into a circus. What a shame. The Masters is so steeped in tradition and arguably the best tournament on the tour. They will ruin it,
• Find it funny that a grocery store chain advertises the ways that it is “green” and then gives you a receipt that is two feet long and useless coupons worth another two feet of paper for 18 items.
• If ignorance is bliss, then this is one blissful world.
• Congress is gonna vote on Obamacare this weekend, but the Dumocrats are short of votes. Wonder how much that will costs us as they buy the votes that they need with more pork?
• Flowers are blooming, trees are budding, the weeds are growing, and it’s supposed to snow on Saturday. Must be Texas!
• God bless our troops!

You Can’t Make This Stuff Up

IRS visits Sacramento carwash in pursuit of 4 cents

By Bob Shallit
Saturday, Mar. 13, 2010 – 9:58 am

It was every businessperson’s nightmare.

Arriving at Harv’s Metro Car Wash in midtown Wednesday afternoon were two dark-suited IRS agents demanding payment of delinquent taxes. “They were deadly serious, very aggressive, very condescending,” says Harv’s owner, Aaron Zeff.

The really odd part of this: The letter that was hand-delivered to Zeff’s on-site manager showed the amount of money owed to the feds was … 4 cents.

Inexplicably, penalties and taxes accruing on the debt – stemming from the 2006 tax year – were listed as $202.31, leaving Harv’s with an obligation of $202.35.

Zeff, who also owns local parking lots and is the president of the Midtown Business Association, finds the situation a bit comical.

“It’s hilarious,” he says, “that two people hopped in a car and came down here for just 4 cents. I think (the IRS) may have a problem with priorities.”

Now he’s trying to figure out how penalties and interest could climb so high on such a small debt. He says he’s never been told he owes any taxes or that he’s ever incurred any late-payment penalties in the four years he’s owned Harv’s.

In fact, he provided us with an Oct. 22, 2009, letter from the IRS that states Harv’s “has filed all required returns and addressed any balances due.”

IRS spokesman Jesse Weller isn’t commenting “due to privacy and disclosure laws.”

Zeff says he’s as offended as much as anything else by what he considers rude behavior by the IRS guys. While at Harv’s, he sniffs, “they didn’t even get a car wash.”

Headlines

House may try to pass Senate healthcare bill — without voting on it!

Might as well since they haven’t read it either.

ACORN branches rename, rebrand after video scandal…

But a tiger don’t change its stripes.

Hamptons Suffer Worst Beach Erosion In 20 Years…

It’s all Bush’s fault.

Follow all the Madness

Are they talking about NCAA basketball or Congress?

Redneck Joke of the Week

Nutty Guys Go To A Baseball Game

A doctor at an (insane) asylum, decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well. As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled, “Up nuts!” and the inmates complied by standing up. After the anthem he yelled, “Down Nuts!”  and they all sat down. After a home run he yelled, “Cheer nuts!” and they all broke into applause and cheers.
Thinking things were going very well, he decided to go get a beer and a hot-dog, leaving his assistant in charge. When he returned there was a riot in progress. Finding his assistant, he asked what happened, “what in the heck is going on”?.
The assistant replied, well…everything was fine until some guy walked by and yelled,

“PEANUTS”!!!

Redneck Picture of the Week

Redneck Swampbike

Racin’

After the rough and tumble events at Atlanta, it is now time for the World’s Fastest Half Mile track in Thunder Valley – Bristol! There certainly will be some rubbin’ and racin’.

The picks:

1. Kurt Busch
2. Kevin “Happy” Harvick
3. Joey Logano

Ain’t True

PAPILLION, Neb. — Authorities said a 30-year-old-man showed up so drunk for his sentencing for drunken driving that he missed his hearing and now faces even more time behind bars. Authorities said Jason Botos was driven to the Papillion courthouse on Thursday by his father, who needed help from deputies to get his son out of the vehicle.

Prosecutor Ben Perlman said Botos was so drunk he couldn’t attend the hearing, so the judge issued a warrant. Deputies arrested Botos in the parking lot.

Another hearing is set for Tuesday. A jail spokeswoman said Botos remained in custody Friday. Botos’ attorney didn’t immediately return a call.

Botos had pleaded guilty to misdemeanor drunken driving in a September 2009 collision with five other vehicles.

Ain’t true that two drunks make a right.

Redneck Song of the Week:

In memory of my friend, Laurie

“I Will Rise” by Chris Tomlin (with lyrics)

Redneck Video of the Week:

Buy, Buy American Pie

Redneck Education Tip of the Week:

Gary Hubbell: The Redneck tree hugger

Barack Obama has awakened a sleeping nation

Gary Hubbell
Aspen Times Weekly

Barack Obama is the best thing that has happened to America in the last 100 years. Truly, he is the savior of America’s future. He is the best thing ever.

Despite the fact that he has some of the lowest approval ratings among recent presidents, history will see Barack Obama as the source of America’s resurrection. Barack Obama has plunged the country into levels of debt that we could not have previously imagined; his efforts to nationalize health care have been met with fierce resistance nationwide; TARP bailouts and stimulus spending have shown little positive effect on the national economy; unemployment is unacceptably high and looks to remain that way for most of a decade; legacy entitlement programs have ballooned to unsustainable levels, and there is a seething anger in the populace.

That’s why Barack Obama is such a good thing for America.

Obama is the symbol of a creeping liberalism that has infected our society like a cancer for the last 100 years. Just as Hitler is the face of fascism, Obama will go down in history as the face of unchecked liberalism. The cancer metastasized to the point where it could no longer be ignored.

Average Americans who have quietly gone about their lives, earning a paycheck, contributing to their favorite charities, going to high school football games on Friday night, spending their weekends at the beach or on hunting trips — they’ve gotten off the fence. They’ve woken up. There is a level of political activism in this country that we haven’t seen since the American Revolution, and Barack Obama has been the catalyst that has sparked a restructuring of the American political and social consciousness.

Think of the crap we’ve slowly learned to tolerate over the past 50 years as liberalism sought to re-structure the America that was the symbol of freedom and liberty to all the people of the world. Immigration laws were ignored on the basis of compassion. Welfare policies encouraged irresponsibility, the fracturing of families, and a cycle of generations of dependency. Debt was regarded as a tonic to lubricate the economy. Our children left school having been taught that they are exceptional and special, while great numbers of them cannot perform basic functions of mathematics and literacy. Legislators decided that people could not be trusted to defend their own homes, and stripped citizens of their rights to own firearms. Productive members of society have been penalized with a heavy burden of taxes in order to support legions of do-nothings who loll around, reveling in their addictions, obesity, indolence, ignorance and “disabilities.” Criminals have been arrested and re-arrested, coddled and set free to pillage the citizenry yet again. Lawyers routinely extort fortunes from doctors, contractors and business people with dubious torts.

We slowly learned to tolerate these outrages, shaking our heads in disbelief, and we went on with our lives.

But Barack Obama has ripped the lid off a seething cauldron of dissatisfaction and unrest.

In the time of Barack Obama, Black Panther members stand outside polling places in black commando uniforms, slapping truncheons into their palms. ACORN — a taxpayer-supported organization — is given a role in taking the census, even after its members were caught on tape offering advice to set up child prostitution rings. A former Communist is given a paid government position in the White House as an advisor to the president. Auto companies are taken over by the government, and the auto workers’ union — whose contracts are completely insupportable in any economic sense — is rewarded with a stake in the company. Government bails out Wall Street investment bankers and insurance companies, who pay their executives outrageous bonuses as thanks for the public support. Terrorists are read their Miranda rights and given free lawyers. And, despite overwhelming public disapproval, Barack Obama has pushed forward with a health care plan that would re-structure one-sixth of the American economy.

I don’t know about you, but the other day I was at the courthouse doing some business, and I stepped into the court clerk’s office and changed my voter affiliation from “Independent” to “Republican.” I am under no illusion that the Republican party is perfect, but at least they’re starting to awaken to the fact that we cannot sustain massive levels of debt; we cannot afford to hand out billions of dollars in corporate subsidies; we have to somehow trim our massive entitlement programs; we can no longer be the world’s policeman and dole out billions in aid to countries whose citizens seek to harm us.

Literally millions of Americans have had enough. They’re organizing, they’re studying the Constitution and the Federalist Papers, they’re reading history and case law, they’re showing up at rallies and meetings, and a slew of conservative candidates are throwing their hats into the ring. Is there a revolution brewing? Yes, in the sense that there is a keen awareness that our priorities and sensibilities must be radically re-structured. Will it be a violent revolution? No. It will be done through the interpretation of the original document that has guided us for 220 years — the Constitution. Just as the pendulum swung to embrace political correctness and liberalism, there will be a backlash, a complete repudiation of a hundred years of nonsense. A hundred years from now, history will perceive the year 2010 as the time when America got back on the right track. And for that, we can thank Barack Hussein Obama.
Gary Hubbell is a hunter, rancher, and former hunting and fly-fishing guide. Gary works as a Colorado ranch real estate broker. He can be reached through his website, aspenranchrealestate.com.

Redneck Rebel Quote of the Week:

There ain’t no free lunches in this country. And don’t go spending your whole life commiserating that you got raw deals. You’ve got to say, ‘I think that if I keep working at this and want it bad enough I can have it.’

Lee Iacocca
US automobile businessman (1924 – )