Issue 82
Redneck Ramblins
- Obama’s opening day pitch at the National’s game was wild and to the left. At least he is consistent.
- Dang! Butler almost did it. What a game! What if that last shot had gone in?
- If I am told by a doctor that I have two minutes to live, I hope it is the last two minutes of a basketball game and I have all my time-outs left.
- Tiger came back this week? How did I miss that?
- I am pulling for TW in the Masters this week – Tom Watson.
- Tiger cheats and loses millions. His “women” also cheated and are becoming famous and rich. Just saying………
- Time for spring cleaning. Let’s start with the House and then move on to the Senate.
- Are Jon and Kate taking care of the eight?
- God bless the troops!
You Can’t Make This Stuff Up
Hank Johnson and a ‘capsizing’ Guam
Don’t it just make you proud to know that this is one of America’s leaders that is making decisions for you?
Headlines
Obama: Give health care law time enough to work
That’s what I am afraid of. I don’t want to see his way work.
Finally! Job growth returns
Must be Bush’s fault.
Dow nears 11,000 after better economic reports
Must be Bush’s fault.
Ryanair confirms pay-to-pee fee for its fliers
Suddenly the carry-on baggage fee doesn’t seem as bad.
Redneck Joke of the Week
One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked
about his bill, and the barber replied, “I cannot accept money from
you; I’m doing community service this week.” The florist was pleased
and left the shop.
When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a
“thank you” card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his
door.
Later, a police officer came in for a haircut and, when he tried to pay
his bill, the barber again replied, “I cannot accept money from you;
I’m doing community service this week.” The officer was happy and
left the shop.
The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a “thank
you” card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.
A Congressman came in for a haircut and, when he went to pay his bill,
the barber again replied, “I can not accept money from you; I’m
doing community service this week.” The Congressman was very happy
and left the shop.
The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen
Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.
And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the
citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.
Redneck Picture of the Week
Racin’
After a week off for Easter, its back to swappin’ some paint at Phoenix’s one mile flat track.
The picks:
- Mark Martin
- Kevin Harvick
- Anybody but Jimmie Johnson
Ain’t True
Virginia Governor Reinstates Confederate History Month
RICHMOND, Va. – Confederate History Month is coming back to Virginia for the first time in eight years, but while some people are happy, other say it sends the wrong message.
Alabama already designates April Confederate History Month and now Gov. McDonnell says he will reinstate the designation as a way to honor Virginia’s history.
Bryan Helton says it’s important to honor history. His family fought on both sides of the Civil War and his 23-year old son is a soldier.
“My son last year went to Iraq, and I was so proud of him,” said Helton.
Helton grew up in Northern Virginia and now wants his six-year-old to know the commonwealth’s role in the war.
“That’s where we came from.That’s who we are as Americans, no matter which side you’re on,” Helton said.
But Megan Hoelter, who visits many civil war battlefields with her family, takes issue with the name.
“I think the Civil War History Month would be an excellent idea, but I don’t think just singling out the Confederate side would be beneficial,” Hoelter said.
In fact, many black leaders are outraged.
“It seemed like he was kowtowing to a right-wing extremist component that still supports the confederacy and with that in mind it was responsible. He is the governor for all the people of Virginia,” said Hilary Shelton with the NAACP (.
But for most families at the Manassas battlefield Wednesday, with Stonewall Jackson looking on, there was overall support for Governor McDonnell’s decision.
“I think it’s a good initiative by the governor. It’s one that brings the Confederacy into the forelight,” said Joe Boyle, Virginia resident.
“It’s part of our history. It’s got to be acknowledged,” said Eleanore Godfrey.
Ain’t true that it is about hate! It is about heritage.
Redneck Song of the Week:
Chris Young – The Man I Want To Be
Redneck Video of the Week:
Extreme 4×4 trucks
Redneck Education Tip of the Week:
Have you ever looked at a map of the world? Look at Texas with me just for a second. That picture, with the Panhandle and the Gulf Coast , and the Red River and the Rio Grande is as much a part of you as anything ever will be. As soon as anyone anywhere in the world looks at it they know what it is. It’s Texas . Pick any kid off the street in Japan and draw him a picture of Texas in the dirt and he’ll know what it is. What happens if I show you a picture of any other state? You might get it maybe after a second or two, but who else would? And even if you do, does it ever stir any feelings in you?
In every man, woman and child on this planet, there is a person who wishes just once he could be a real live Texan and get up on a horse or ride off in a pickup. There is a little bit of Texas in everyone.
Texas is the Alamo . Texas is 183 men standing in a church, facing thousands of Mexican nationals, fighting for freedom, who had the chance to walk out and save themselves, but stayed instead to fight and die for the cause of freedom. John Wayne paid to do the movie himself . That is the Spirit of Texas .
We send our kids to schools named William B. Travis and James Bowie and Davy Crockett, and do you know why? Because those men saw a line in the sand and they decided to cross it and be heroes.
Texas is Sam Houston capturing Antonio Lopez de Santa Ana at San Jacinto .
Texas is huge forests of Piney Woods like the Davy Crockett and Sam Houston National Forests .
Texas is breathtaking mountains in the Big Bend .
Texas is the unparalleled beauty of bluebonnet fields in the Texas Hill Country.
Texas is floating the rivers of the Hill Country on a hot summer day.
Texas is the beautiful, warm beaches of the Gulf Coast of South Texas .
Texas is beaches you can drive on and have many memorable bon-fires with close friends.
Texas is that warm feeling you get when someone asks where you’re from.
Texas is the shiny skyscrapers in Houston and Dallas.
Texas is world record bass from places like Lake Fork .
Texas is Mexican foods like nowhere else, not even Mexico .
Texas is chicken fried steak and world famous Bar-B-Q.
Texas is the Fort Worth Stockyards, Bass Hall, the Ballpark in Arlington and the Astrodome. (guess now, the Reliant Stadium too)..
Texas is larger-than-life legends, like Michael DeBakey, Ann Richards, Denton Cooley, Willie Nelson, Buddy Holly, Gene Autry, Audie Murphy, Tommy Lee Jones, Waylon Jennings, Farrah Fawcett, Janis Joplin, Sandra Bullock, Kris Kristofferson, Tom Landry, Eva Longoria, Darrell Royal, ZZ Top, Eric Dickerson, Earl Campbell, Nolan Ryan, Sam Rayburn, Howard Hughes, George H.. W. Bush, Lyndon B. Johnson, and let’s not forget GEORGE STRAIT- PANTERA, the Big Bopper, Tex Ritter, George Jones, Clay Walker, Mark Chestnut, to name ONLY a few.
Texas is great companies like Dell Computer, Texas Instruments, EDS and Compaq, Whataburger, Southwest Airlines, Bell Helicopter and LOCKHEED MARTIN AEROSPACE, Home of the F-16 Jet Fighter and the JSF Fighter, Valero.
Texas is NASA.
Texas is huge herds of cattle, beautiful horses and miles of crops.
Texas is home to the world famous King Ranch.
Texas has its own power grid.
Texas is home to the most amazing sunsets of gold over an empty field.
Texas is hundreds of deer running around neighborhoods and fields.
Texas is skies blackened with doves and fields full of deer.
Texas is a place where towns and cities shut down to watch the local high school football game on Friday nights and for the Cowboys on Monday Night Football, and for the night In Old San Antonio River Parade in San Antonio.
To drive across Texas , is to drive 1/3 the way across the United States .
Texas is ocean beaches, deserts, lakes and rivers, mountains and prairies, and modern cities.
If it isn’t already in Texas , you probably don’t need it.
No one does anything bigger or better than it’s done in Texas .
By federal law, Texas is the only state in the U…S. That can fly its flag at the same height as the U.S. Flag. Think about that for a second. You fly the Stars and Stripes at 20 feet in Maryland , California , or Maine , and your state flag, whatever it is, goes at 17 feet. You fly the Stars and Stripes in front of Klein Oak High or anyplace else at 20 feet, the Lone Star flies at the same height – 20 feet. Do you know why? Because it is the only state that was a Republic before it became a state.
Also, being a Texan is as high as being an American down here. Our capitol is the only one in the country that is taller than the capitol building in Washington , D.C. And we can divide our state into five states at any time if we wanted to!We can become a republic again at any time the voters of Texas choose, and we included these things as part of the deal when we came on.
Redneck Rebel Quote of the Week:
“I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crises. The great point is to bring them the real facts.“
Abraham Lincoln
