Issue 85

Redneck Ramblins

Bubba’s weather rock blew away. Must be a little windy.
I saw a car hold up another car in a construction zone for maybe 5 seconds. The second driver blared on the horn, bumped the back of the other car, and flipped the bird. Think we have lost all civility.
It’s about we not just about me.
I am getting motion sickness from the stock market again.
The Arizona immigration law thing is because the state is sick and tired of footing the bill for illegal aliens. Illegal is the key word here.
Want to stop illegals from crossing the border – stop the jobs and the free give away programs.
Bubba wants to be a pro at procrastination. He will start maybe next week.
The news was talking about the Big Slick and I thought they were talking about Obama.
Does Toyota have a model that hasn’t been recalled?
Find it amusing that Congress is accusing the financial companies of lying and misleading. Takes one to know one.
God bless our troops!

You Can’t Make This Stuff Up

COLUMBIA, Tenn. (AP) — A Middle Tennessee horseback rider was jailed after being charged with running into a crowd of people at the Mule Day festivities in Columbia. The man, 32, was charged with two counts of reckless endangerment and public intoxication.

According to The Daily Herald of Columbia, witnesses told investigators that the man rode the horse Saturday into a restricted area that had been closed to animal traffic at the county park and was asking pedestrians for beer. A Maury County sheriff’s report said the man dismounted and then attempted to get back on, spooking it.

Two people were then hit by the horse, and one required hospital treatment. Bond was set at $10,500.

Real life story of being drunk on his ass.

Headlines

Obama Earth Day Flights Burned More Than 9,000 Gallons Of Fuel…

Eco-friendly? Please if you are going to talk the talk then walk the walk.

Geithner: ‘I Never Had A Real Job’…

And neither have your buddies in this administration. Still don’t……….

Turkey population ruffles feathers in urban areas

Especially the turkeys in DC.

‘This Is Alabama. We Speak English’

Well sorta English. We call it Southern English.

Redneck Joke of the Week

Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs were.

One man was an engineer, the second man was an accountant, the third man was a chemist, and the fourth was a government worker.

To show off, the engineer called to his dog. “T-square, do your stuff.” T-square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen, and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that that that was pretty smart.

The accountant said that his dog could do better. He called to his dog and said,
“Spreadsheet, do your stuff.” Spreadsheet went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into four equal piles of three cookies each.

Everyone agreed that that was good.

The chemist said that his dog could do better still. He called to his dog and said, “Measure, do your stuff.” Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a ten-ounce glass from the cupboard, and poured exactly eight ounces without spilling a drop.

Everyone agreed that that was pretty impressive.

Then the three men turned to the government worker and said, “What can your dog do?”

The government worker called to his dog and said, “Coffee Break, do your stuff.”
Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, claimed he had injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for worker’ compensation, and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.

They all agreed that that was brilliant!

Redneck Picture of the Week

It's That Time of the Year for Proms

redneck.limo

Racin’

After the thrilling finish at Dega last week that got Harvick happy again, it is off to Richmond, a fast ¾ mile short track.

The picks:

Hobblin’ Homeboy Hamlin
Jr.
Clint Bowyer
Anybody but Kyle Busch

Ain’t True

While economy crumbled, top financial watchdogs at SEC surfed for porn

At the SEC, all they thought about was SEX.

The country’s top financial watchdogs turned out to be horndogs who spent hours gawking at porn Web sites as the economy teetered on the brink, according to a memo released Thursday night.

The shocking findings include Securities and Exchange Commission senior staffers using government computers to browse for booty and an accountant who tried to access the raunchy sites 16,000 times in one month.

Their titillating pastime was discovered during 33 probes of employees looking at explicit images in the past five years, said the memo obtained by The Associated Press.

It says 31 of those probes occurred in the 2-1/2 years since the country’s financial system nearly crashed.

The report was written by SEC Inspector General David Kotz in response to a request from Sen. Charles Grassley (R-Iowa).

Among the startling findings:

- A senior attorney at the SEC’s Washington headquarters spent up to eight hours a day looking at and downloading pornography. When his government computer ran out of hard drive space, he burned the files to CDs or DVDs. He later agreed to resign.

- An accountant was blocked more than 16,000 times in a single month from visiting “sex” or “pornography” sites, but still managed to amass a collection of “very graphic” material by using Google to bypass the SEC’s internal filter. He wound up with a 2-week suspension.

- Seventeen of the randy employees were “at a senior level” earning salaries of up to $222,418.

- The number of cases jumped from two in 2007 to 16 in 2008. The cracks in the financial system emerged in mid-2007 and spread into full-blown panic by the fall of 2008.

California Rep. Darrell Issa, the top Republican on the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, said it was “disturbing that high-ranking officials within the SEC were spending more time looking at porn than taking action to help stave off the events that put our nation’s economy on the brink of collapse.” An SEC spokesman declined to comment last night.

You would think that they all got fired. Ain’t true!