Issue 92
Redneck Ramblins
- Joe Barton apologizes for apologizing to BP. Dude, you are still fired!
- Bubba’s wife says the earrings she wore in high school still fit.
- BP – you have polluted the Redneck Riviera. Y’all is in a heap of trouble now.
- It has been 2 months since the blowout of the Horizon well. Not much has happened to clean it up and the oil is still gushing. PoLIEticians are as much to blame as BP, so they are now known as POLLUTEticians.
- Wonder if the reaction would have been any different had this not been on the Southern shores. What if it had been in the Chesapeake or on the Hamptons or Cape Cod?
- Nominees for boob of the week:
- Congressman Joe Barton – Rep from Texas
- World Cup referee Koman Coulibaly of Mali (US/Slovenia match)
- Tony Hayward , Chief Executive BP
- Barak Obama, lives in the White House
- All of the above
- I was watching a soccer match and WWE rastlin” broke out.
- The US government is projected to spend $3.72 trillion during the current 2010 fiscal year, equal to $1 billion of government spending every 2 hours 21 minutes (source: Treasury Department). Even Mrs. Redneck can’t spend that much that fast.
- Guy stopped by the trailer today to sell Bubba a hot tub, but Bubba didn’t buy it. He has ethics you know and would never buy stolen property.
- God bless the troops!
You Can’t Make This Stuff Up
- June 19, 2010
Dodd Helps Casino Earning $1.3B Get $54M in Taxpayer Money
Retiring Sen. Christopher Dodd, D-Conn., helped a casino that earned $1.3 billion last year hit a $54 million jackpot in federal money.
Retiring Sen. Christopher Dodd, D-Conn., helped a casino that earned $1.3 billion last year hit a $54 million jackpot in federal money.
The Mohegan tribe, owners of the Mohegan Sun — one of the largest casinos in the country — has secured a $54 million loan funded with stimulus through Dodd’s help.
“Throughout his career, Sen. Dodd and the entire Connecticut delegation have worked tirelessly to secure jobs and economic prosperity for the state of Connecticut,” a Dodd spokesman said in a statement to the Hartford Courant. “That is why he supported the economic recovery package, as well as the Mohegan Tribe’s loan application, because it will create and preserve local jobs.”
Of the $54 million to the Mohegan tribe, $31.5 million will be used to construct an educational center and $22.2 million to build a community center, according to the Agriculture Department.
The money is part of a $167.8 million loan from the Agriculture Department rural development program for 145 investments in 37 states.
Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack said in a written statement that the projects “not only provide needed infrastructure in rural communities, they contribute to the Obama administration’s continued efforts to turn the economy around and create quality jobs.”
“The Recovery Act is working,” Vilsack said. “These projects, and others like them, are contributing to fully restore the American economy while improving the quality of life in towns and small cities throughout the country.”
Chuck Bunnell, a tribe spokesman and former aide to Dodd, told the Hartford Courant that the money will put more than 100 people back to work on a stalled project.
The building will house the tribe’s library, archives, tribal court, health and human services, Bunnell said.
“It has nothing to do with the casino,” he said.
Bunnell told the newspaper that the tribe initially bankrolled the project from its own coffers, most of it stemming from the casino operation. But after the recession hit, tightening the credit markets, the tribe applied for the federal loan last year for the $75 million project that was scaled down from its initial price tag of $90 million, Bunnell said.
“What it will do is it will put back to work the people who lost their jobs when we stopped the project,” he told the newspaper.
Bunnell said more than 100 construction workers, mostly union carpenters, plumbers, sheet metal workers and others, were laid off when the tribe stopped constructions in early 2009, after nearly two years.
Bunnell said the loans must be repaid and the interest rate is expected to be around 3 percent.
Headlines
Evasive BP CEO leaves Congress flummoxed
Maybe Obama will fire him like he did the CEO of GM.
Questions about who’s in charge of BP oil response
Good question, but why did it take 2 months?
Members of Congress taking trips on private dime
This is news? Like it hasn’t happened before?
Obama Releases Details of Health Care Law
Now maybe Congress will know what they voted on.
Redneck Joke of the Week
The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recuiting crisis affecting all of our armed services.
So, he directed that a nearby Air Force base be opened and that all eligible young men and women be invited.
As he and his staff were standing near a brand new F-15 Fighter, a pair of twin brothers who looked like they had just stepped off a Marine Corps recruiting poster walked up to them.
The chief of staff walked up to them, stuck out his hand and introduced himself.
He looked at the first young man and asked, “Son, what skills can you bring to the Air Force?”
The young man looks at him and says, “I’m a pilot!”
The general gets all excited, turns to his aide and says, “Get him in today, all the paper work done, everything, do it!” The aide hustles the young man off.
The general looks at the second young man and asked, “What skills to you bring to the Air Force?”
The young man says, “I chop wood!”
“Son,” the general replies, “We don’t need wood choppers in the Air Force, what do you know how to do?”
“I chop wood!”
“Young man,” huffs the general, “You are not listening to me, we don’t need wood choppers, this is the 21st century!”
“Well,” the young man says, “You hired my brother!”
“Of course we did,” says the general, “he’s a pilot!”
The young man rolls his eyes and says, “Dang it, I have to chop it before he can pile it!”
Redneck Picture of the Week
New Product from General Mills
Racin’
Jimmie Johnson won at Sonoma after Marcus Ambrose stupid error in shutting off his car during a caution. Better lucky than good, but Johnson was good all day too.
New Hampshire awaits this week. Tight flat track with plenty of action. The picks:
- Denny Hamlin
- Mark Martin
- Tony Stewart
Ain’t True
PORT ORCHARD, Wash. — Identical twins Patrick and Nathan Griffin-Hall like the same food, the same movies, the same books. But the 27-year-old brothers who live together in Port Orchard, Wash., split when it comes to politics. Patrick is a Republican and Nathan is a Democrat, and both have registered as candidates for precinct committee officer in their respective parties. Both are running unopposed.
Patrick will be serving his third term, Nathan his first.
From an early age, Patrick sensed he was different from the rest of his large blended family.
He says, “They’re all hippie liberals. I’m the lone conservative.”
Ain’t true that they are identical then.
Redneck Song of the Week:
Hank Williams Jr. – That’s How they Do It In Dixie
Redneck Video of the Week:
911 Call: Man Says He Saw Bigfoot
Redneck Education Tip of the Week:
Top Ten Signs a Redneck Has Been Using Your Computer
10. The monitor is up on blocks.
9. The CPU has a gun rack mounted on it.
8. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains.
7. The CD-ROM drive is being used as a beer holder.
6. The case is held together with duct tape.
5. The six front keys have rotted out.
4. The password is “Huntin” or “Fishin”.
3. The extra expansion slots have truck parts installed in them.
2. The keyboard is camouflaged.
1. The numeric keypad only goes up to five.
Redneck Rebel Quotes of the Week:
“Put up with it and you will get more of it.”
Lynne Deal
“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years!”
-Mark Twain
