1. I wonder why the psychics don’t win all of the lotteries.
2. #44 is making a list of all of the previous administration’s policies that he will use executive order to change. Here is my list:
   1. Make everyone in DC tell the truth and nothing but the truth
   2. Serve the people that elected you versus being self serving
   3. Include politicians in the Do Not Call List
   4. Eliminate the designated hitter in the American League
   5. Make all government employees contribute to Social Security and then live under it
   6. Make it illegal to participate in partisan politics – Do What Is Right for America!!
   7. Do away with the top 35 rule in NASCAR. Everybody qualifies and top 43 fastest run that week.
   8. Eliminate earmarks and use line item veto.
   9. After $ 5.3 billion spent on this federal election (President, Senators, Cong Rep. and not state or local), seems that election finance reform is in order
   10. Re-discover ethics!
3. It makes me mad that so many ads on TV make the Dad look like a total dope. I have a sense of humor (it may be the only sense I have), but this country needs to have the children respect their parents. This doesn’t help!
4. Of course the parents need to earn the respect of their kids by always doing the right thing.
5. Ever notice how intolerant people are that preach tolerance?
6. Hey, this new administration thing is working. I just realized that I am paying far less income taxes right now than I was a year ago. Of course, last year I had a job.
7. Stop bailing until you fix the leaks or your boat’s gonna sink anyway.
8. US automakers need to go bankrupt if they don’t make fuel efficient cars efficiently. The UAW better wake up before there is no US auto industry!!
9. I see AIG is getting another add-on to their bailout. Now up to $ 150 billion. Does this mean they get to have more parties?
10. A billion here a $100 billion there. Sooner or later we gonna be talking serious money.

You Can’t Make This Stuff Up

2 dead in argument after Alabama-LSU game
EVERGREEN, Ala. — A man and woman were shot dead after an argument that witnesses said started over an Alabama-LSU football game, but sheriff’s investigators said Monday they continued to investigate the motive.

The Conecuh County sheriff’s office identified the victims as Dennis James Smith, 41, and Donna Kaye Hall Smith, 39, of Brewton. The two were shot to death about 7 p.m. Saturday in the rural community of Owassa in southern Alabama.

Michael W. Williams, 28, was arrested and charged with two counts of murder over the shooting at his home, where he had watched the game. He was being held Monday without bond. A sheriff’s investigator handling the case did not know if he had an attorney.

An investigator said Monday that people watching the game at Williams’ home said the dispute was over the game, which Alabama won 27-21 in overtime Saturday, but an investigation into the motive was not complete. The investigator also said alcohol may have been a factor.

According to witness accounts to investigators, Dennis Smith, an LSU fan, called Williams, an Alabama fan, after the game, and the Smiths then went to Williams’ home, where a physical altercation led to the shooting.

Investigators said Dennis Smith had a pistol and Williams had a shotgun and fired.
Authorities said Donna Smith was a relative of Williams’ girlfriend.

Relatives of both the victims and the suspect either declined comment or did not immediately return phone messages Monday from The Associated Press.

Football in the SEC is not a life or death matter. It is far more important than that!

Redneck Joke of the Week

DWI – TEXAS STYLE

Recently a routine police patrol car was parked outside a bar in Texas. After last call, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk.   The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing.   After what seemed an eternity, in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it.  He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.  Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off; it was a fine, dry summer night, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights.  He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little, and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons’ vehicles left.

At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.
The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test.

To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all!  Dumbfounded, the officer said, ‘I’ll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station.  This breathalyzer equipment must be broken.’

‘I doubt it,’ said the truly proud Redneck.  ‘Tonight I’m the designated decoy.’

Redneck Picture of the Week

Note the rubber band holding the cell phone and the shotgun in the arm as he is smokin’ and drinkin’. Look Ma no hands!!

Racin’ at Homestead

Congrats to the Champions

• Jimmie Johnson – Cup
• Clint Bowyer – Nationwide
• Johnny Benson – Trucks

Some great racin’ this past weekend especially in the Trucks and Nationwide. Never knew would win the championships until the checkered flag.

Folks have been askin’ what I am going to do between now and Daytona?

1. Attend Racin’ Anonymous meetings
2. Sit on the hill looking at cars going fast on I-20
3. Sniff the lawnmower gas can every now and again
4. Watch re-runs of races from back in the day

Ain’t True

The Washington Redskins have proven to be a time-tested predictor. In the previous elections, if the Washington Redskins have lost their last home game prior to the election, the incumbent party has lost the White House. When they have won, the incumbent has stayed in power. This is accurate 94.7% of the time.

The only miss in 19 elections was in 2004. The Redskins were defeated by the Green Bay Packers 28-14, but Bush was re-elected.

This election? The Redskins were defeated at home by the Pittsburgh Steelers 23-6 on the eve of the election and the Democrats regained the White House.

Ain’t true that the media watched the game on November 3rd and made their predictions. Heck, they decided that over six months ago!

Redneck Song of the Week:

The South’s Gonna Do It Again – Charlie Daniels

Redneck Video of the Week

Chainsaws

http://www.jibjab.com/player/main.swf?jid=56246

Redneck Education Tip of the Week: Technology

Backup – What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods.

Bug – The reason you give for calling in sick.

Byte – What your pitbull done to cousin Jethro.

Chip – Pasture muffins that you try not to step in.

Terminal – Time to call the undertaker.

Crash – When you go to Junior’s party uninvited.

Digital – The art of counting on your fingers.

Diskette – Female Disco dancer.

Fax – What you lie about to the IRS.

Hacker – Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking.

Hardcopy – Picture looked at when selecting tattoos.

Internet – Where cafeteria workers put their hair.

Keyboard – Where you hang the keys to the John Deere.

Mac – Big Bubba’s favorite fast food.

Megahertz – How your head feels after 17 beers.

Modem – What you do when the grass gets too high.

Mouse Pad – Where Mickey and Minnie live.

Network – Scooping up a big fish before it breaks the line.

ROM – Where the pope lives.

Screen – Keeps mosquitoes off the porch.

Serial Port – A red wine you drink with breakfast.

Superconductor – Amtrak’s Employee of the year.

SCSI (pronounced scuzzi) – What you call your week-old underwear.

Rebel Football Pickins

Last Week Record        9 – 6    ..600

Season Record                 109 – 36    .752

Louie’s Losers

Lost some close ones last week, so we try to do better this time……

Miami upsets Ga Tech
This will be close, but Hurricanes hit Atlanta

Buffalo upsets Bowling Green
Bulls are a surprise team in the nation and could head for their first bowl game with a victory

Virginia loses to Clemson
Another close ACC matchup

UAB loses to E Carolina
Alabama’s 3rd best team just not good enough in this one

UTEP loses to Houston
Cougars dig a big hole for the Miners

Ole Miss loses to LSU
Another nail biting SEC adventure for the Bayou Bengals

Maryland barely loses to Fla St
Another ACC great one

Univ Central Fla loses to Memphis
Tigers BBQ the Knights

North Texas loses to Middle Tennessee
Bet the double-wide game of the week

Arkansas loses by an inch to Miss St
Miss St defense will stop the Hawgs, but can the offense score enough pts?

NC State loses to NC
Wolfpack whooped (and this isn’t even basketball!)

Texas Tech upsets Oklahoma
Oklahoma will be unable to stop the air attack

Marshall loses to Rice
Thundering Herd will need some lightning too to pull this one out

Air Force loses to TCU
Falcons are grounded

LA – Laf loses to Troy
Alabama’s 2nd best team prevails

Tulane loses to Tulsa
Tulsa embarrassed last week will take it out on the Green Wave

Tennessee loses to Vandy
Don’t happen often, but boy do I like the sound of it. Rocky Bottoms for the former Rocky Tops.

Duke loses to VA Tech
Blue Devils are bluer after this one

Boston College loses to Wake Forest
Another ACC close game

Louisville loses to West VA
Another ACC close game

Auburn loses to … Oops
They get a break this week since they don’t play

Redneck Rebel Quote of the Week:

“The Labor Department has announced that 159,000 people lost their jobs last month. Worst job loss in five years. Here’s the ironic part — all 435 members of Congress still have their jobs.”
- Jay Leno